October 30, 2011 – Song 359 (Day 5)

How on earth I am lucky enough to have so many people in my life who are willing to make complete fools of themselves, the world may never know.

Let’s dance this mess around indeed. Song 359 (Day 5)

There is this thing that keeps bugging me the more and more I say out loud about how this country seems to be working incorrectly. And it’s this one word.

Fun.

Life should be fun. Because what else is there really? Fun for you and fun for those around you. And if there are people around you who are suffering, well then how much fun are you really having? And just what is anyone fighting for in the first place?

I am not saying you shouldn’t work hard. You should. Because if all you do is have fun how would you even know when you are having it? But on the other side of the same coin, if all you do is work and never find a way to have fun, or at least find a way to make work and even hard times funny, then I don’t know what else to say to you but this.

You’re doing it wrong.

People who are happy do better shit. They create more and they care more. And they don’t take themselves too seriously. It might sound silly, but it’s the key. Finding an inner happiness is what gives you enough space to remember that you are not on this planet alone. And that all it takes is one twist of fate for it to all be over anyway.

So keep telling me how it is. And how it has always been. And what can or can’t be done. And I will keep laughing at how silly you seem. So convinced that there is something you need to control, outside of yourself.

You can go ahead and make the world around you as crappy and as predetermined as you want.

Just don’t be surprised if nobody wants to live there with you.

•••••••

A lady named By Bonnie Ware, who worked for years nursing the dying, once shared the top five things people said on their deathbeds along with her feelings on each point. And it’s some of the best goddamned advice I have ever heard. ♥

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled.

Most people have had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honor at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years.

There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love.

Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives.

Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

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