June 22, 2011 – Song 230

When I sat down to write this my dictionary screen saver, that I did not install, was set to the word Lobotomy. I know what that word means because of Nirvana. Or maybe more precisely, because once I Googled “Frances Farmer”.If you are unfamiliar with that word it is a neurosurgical procedure, that consists of cutting the connections to and from the prefrontal cortex, the anterior part of the frontal lobes of the brain. Quite the cure for pain indeed.

•••••••

I made two important decisions today. One, was that I am in a position, thanks to marvels of modern technology, to perform a large amount of my work this summer whilst at the pool.

And the other was to make an appointment with a Jungian Psychotherapist. If only poor Frances had been so lucky. It is a significantly less invasive procedure.

On the phone today I told the woman I spoke to that I had more or less decided to call due to coincidences. She just laughed and said, “That’s pretty common.”One of the things I am supposed to do before my appointment is keep track of my dreams. I told her I haven’t been dreaming, at least not often. And if I do I barely seem to remember them these days. So she told me to pay attention to other things that seem to put themselves in my path instead.

So I have been, but true to my own nature, I couldn’t resist a little Google Questing.

ANTS

Native American Meaning – Ant medicine calls to our attention patience, persistence and endurance.

Chinese Meaning – The Chinese identify the ant as “the righteous insect” and attribute orderliness, virtue, and patriotism to it; an alternate symbolism is subordination, especially that of the tireless and dutiful servant.

Islamic Meaning – Islamic tradition honors the ant as the earthly teacher of Solomon, and an embodiment of wisdom.

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Earlier tonight, while sitting in the bathtub reading, I was struck by a sentence. “I can find a perfect bee, but not a perfect me.”

I then watched as an ant stepped out of the crack where the tile meets the tub, one which I have literally dug out and re-caulked at least five times now to no avail. I don’t know why it keeps cracking. It just does.

The ant walked around dutifully for a while back and forth and around and around. Then he walked the grid of the grout like it was a sideways city. Finally, he walked over the edge of the tub and stuck his feelers in my Epson salt laden bath. He paused for a moment and then walked back up the side of the tub and promptly disappeared from where he came.

I could have smooshed him, but I just couldn’t stop laughing about what his report might be, when he gets back home.

••••••

Dear The Universe. I owe you one for this.