June 22, 2011 – Song 230

“Hey guys! I think I found the ocean!”

Song 230.

When I sat down to write this my dictionary screen saver, that I did not install, was set to the word Lobotomy. I know what that word means because of Nirvana. Or maybe more precisely, because once I Googled “Frances Farmer”.If you are unfamiliar with that word it is a neurosurgical procedure, that consists of cutting the connections to and from the prefrontal cortex, the anterior part of the frontal lobes of the brain. Quite the cure for pain indeed.


I made two important decisions today. One, was that I am in a position, thanks to marvels of modern technology, to perform a large amount of my work this summer whilst at the pool.

And the other was to make an appointment with a Jungian Psychotherapist. If only poor Frances had been so lucky. It is a significantly less invasive procedure.

On the phone today I told the woman I spoke to that I had more or less decided to call due to coincidences. She just laughed and said, “That’s pretty common.”One of the things I am supposed to do before my appointment is keep track of my dreams. I told her I haven’t been dreaming, at least not often. And if I do I barely seem to remember them these days. So she told me to pay attention to other things that seem to put themselves in my path instead.

So I have been, but true to my own nature, I couldn’t resist a little Google Questing.


Native American Meaning – Ant medicine calls to our attention patience, persistence and endurance.

Chinese Meaning – The Chinese identify the ant as “the righteous insect” and attribute orderliness, virtue, and patriotism to it; an alternate symbolism is subordination, especially that of the tireless and dutiful servant.

Islamic Meaning – Islamic tradition honors the ant as the earthly teacher of Solomon, and an embodiment of wisdom.


Earlier tonight, while sitting in the bathtub reading, I was struck by a sentence. “I can find a perfect bee, but not a perfect me.”

I then watched as an ant stepped out of the crack where the tile meets the tub, one which I have literally dug out and re-caulked at least five times now to no avail. I don’t know why it keeps cracking. It just does.

The ant walked around dutifully for a while back and forth and around and around. Then he walked the grid of the grout like it was a sideways city. Finally, he walked over the edge of the tub and stuck his feelers in my Epson salt laden bath. He paused for a moment and then walked back up the side of the tub and promptly disappeared from where he came.

I could have smooshed him, but I just couldn’t stop laughing about what his report might be, when he gets back home.

Dear The Universe. I owe you one for this.

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