April 15, 2011 – Song 162

It’s funny. The longer you try and figure out who you are given your current circumstances and the more time you spend trying to wrap your mind around how you got to be where you are, the more you start to realize some things always stay th…e same.Your ass simply has not changed at all.

At least mine hasn’t.

I’m not saying I was or am living now exactly the way I want to, but the WAY I want to is still pretty much the same. In theory. But that’s all it ever was anyway. A theory. A hypothesis about a guess in reference to a feeling about what kinds of things I would need to line on up so I could finally say,

“This, here, right now, is exactly how I wanted to do it.”

Lately, I had been toying with the idea that I had really changed. And I think I have. I think a person has to. Because circumstances change. And you have change with them, because what else can you do? But at the very same time, one of the most peaceful things you can do is still remain exactly the same. No other plan seems to make any sense to me at all. Even if it’s really hard to still believe what you always believed, before the world came in, before anything or anyone seemingly did their best to prove you wrong.

Sometimes your first idea is still the best one you ever had.

So why fight it?

The world might have changed around me, but my ass ain’t changed at all.