March 20, 2011 – Song 136

“I ain’t even here Sergent. I’m in Cheyenne Wyoming.”

Song 136.

“One morning, over at Elizabeth’s beach house, she asked me if I’d rather go water-skiing or lay out. And I realized that not only did I not want to answer THAT question, but I never wanted to answer another water-sports question, or see any of these people again for the rest of my life.”

-Anthony in “Bottle Rocket”*

It’s weird having traveled a bit and having seen some things to then have the situation reversed upon you. Now I am the one who has house guests tucked safely in bed. But it would seem that you can go on just as big of a trip by simply staying put.

And also, there is nothing better than getting to quote Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade when you get to know the partner of someone you have known forever.

“You have chosen wisely.”

And double also, I was pretty sure I liked you already but with “I Google image searched uncircumcised penises before I went to college just in case it came up.” you have endeared me to not only your heart but your bizarre mind forever.


I went nuts once. But I did it semi quietly. It was my second year in college and I had transferred from Film School to DePaul. To study Philosophy. But it wasn’t right. I wasn’t right. And I didn’t know how to fix it. Or change it. Or even say it out loud. So, instead, I just stopped. Although, it took a while for anyone to notice that I had stopped showing up to class. I’d go to campus, but I wouldn’t go to where I was supposed to. Instead, for almost two weeks straight, I crossed the street instead to the movie theater made famous by the Saint Valentine’s Day Massacre and watch “Rushmore” by myself. In the day. Alone. Sometimes more than once.

Were you in the shit?

It was a weird thing to do. And it was a very childish and selfish and wasteful thing to do. But that’s what I did. And it was even weirder to explain, more than a decade later, to very old friend, just how it went down. I don’t really know what else to say but…Surprise! So that’s how that happened.


It was a long walk home. And we will probably always argue. And yet we will probably always be friends. And when I want to throttle you I will always think fondly of the time that the rat backed up out of the garbage can and touched your hand with it’s butt. And I will never fail to remind you that you screamed like a girl. Because that my friend is what friends are for.

It was a pleasure having you, both. You make the world better by being together. And whether you believe me or not, in my mind, that, right there, is more than enough. So quit worrying already.


“I always wanted to be in one of your fucking plays.”

“I know you did mate.”

*That’s an excerpt from a story for another day entirely.

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