February 4, 2011 – Song 92

Mother Nature, we see your Ice Storm and raise you a couple of Hurricanes. Or more accurately, a big Pitcher of Margaritas.

Thanks for having us and helping our mental state Christopher & Allie.

Song 92. Je veux aller au discothèque?

My friend Caroline and I left Chicago on a real business trip, determined to make good time from Chicago to Los Angeles. Cha cha cha. But what else can you do when the wave you’re riding in a Rav4 dragging a fucking Uhaul crests into a real shitstorm?

Can’t go over it.

Can’t go under it.

Can’t go through it.

Gotta go around it.

We thought heading South was the answer to everything. And it turns out it was. But, not exactly how we expected.

We figured, the road here, being the most Southern ass way one could possibly head West, albeit the longest, would also be the safest. But this is the storm of the century people. And it’s no joke.

It seemed like nothing at first. No snow drifts, no snow plows, no Land Rovers with tire chains…but as it turns out, just paper thin black ice. We saw more cars and semis in the ditches on our way into New Orleans than we have seen on this entire trip.

Somehow, we literally couldn’t stop laughing when this song came on in the middle of it all.

“I don’t wanna die tonight. I don’t wanna die tonight.”

And to be honest, if a quiet older Gentleman in Lebanon, MO hadn’t made a point of talking to us calmly and directly about how to handle a fishtailing trailer, while his peers barked meaningless bullshit into the ether, we’d be fucked too.

But, I’m proud to say, Caroline listened and learned. Bizarre as it seems, sometimes you have to accelerate instead of brake when the things behind you aren’t quite right.

Don’t fight it. The wave knows where to go.

So, say what you will about the phenomenon that is allowing you to read this right now, I don’t even care anymore. It has brought us to safety and the much needed kindness of an old friend. Someone, I wonder, if we would even have known the whereabouts of if not for Facebook.

And who gives a shit, at this point, if that Facebook Dude just invented this whole thing to get back at his ex girlfriend? It’s bigger than that now. It just is. And, like the Manhattan Project, the results can be used for good or evil.

Am I comparing Facebook or Twitter to the Atomic Bomb?


You can think that’s dumb, but all I have to do is say one word.

And right now, that word is “Cairo”.

Status updates are mightier than the sword.

It just depends on who’s holding I guess.

So here’s to people sharing information, help, kindness, friendship and yes, maybe most importantly, Margaritas.

Westward Ho The Women!*

*Unless Hell or Houston freezes over.

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