It’s official. I can not think about this anymore. I must take action.
Lately, it seems like whenever I feel sad or have that lungs full of grief thing I end up in this place that just raises a useless temper in me and makes everything I want in the world seem so grossly out of reach.
Inevitably, I will find myself angrily doing some kind of menial chore having just mentally listed all the ways the world has pulled a real fast one on me.
And in that moment I almost always end up following my thought train to the same dumb place without even realizing it until I literally say the same dumb thing out loud. To no one but the dog.
“Why bring back the best and then not give her anything to fucking do. God damn it!”
So here is my master plan. I have decided I am gonna rewrite the last Indiana Jones movie and then leak it on a website.
I told you I end up at a dumb place.
C’est la vie. Here’s the gist list.
A. It will rule instead of suck.
B. Marion will get to say things besides “Oh, Indy.”
C. She has a daughter, not a son. Duh.
D. It involves The Lost City of Atlantis
E. This might be the best idea I ever had.
F. I will get really famous for my stupid website and they will ask me to write Ghostbusters III instead of just making one that sucks. The third Indiana Jones movie rules. It is totally possible.
G. I am aware that F. probably won’t happen (Claire) it’s a joke.
H. Jokes make me happy.
I. This idea is not a joke however.
J. No refrigerators allowed.
K. If I start saying “What would Marion do?” just fucking go with it.
L. See below. Still my favorite. No joke.
Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade
“You said go betveens dem!”