January 25, 2011 – Song 82

My Mom just came home from a long trip and while she was away she said in an email that she couldn’t wait to read all of the things I had posted. Adorable? Yes. She made me. She has to like me. I mean, she IS my Mom.

One of my favorite things about her is that she is a very normal lady in many, many respects, but at the same time she is also an amazing weirdo. Growing up she would say these random things from time to time as if they were a totally normal thing one might just say and to children mind you. Phrases like, and I’m not joking here,

“She looks rode hard and put away wet.”


“Look it up in your Funk and Wagnalls.”


“I’ve been mostly dead all day.”


“I have to pee so bad my back teeth are floating.”

or, one of my personal favorites,

“A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants.”

Big surprise I guess that I turned out the way I did. I have spent years trying to get half of the references she would often make. Mostly through such amazing resources such as Nick at Night or Cat Ballou. Although, these days you can just Googlequest up this stuff, if you’re internet savvy.

But for all the times that I must have stared at her with no comprehension of what just came out of her mouth, there have also been things she has said that I couldn’t understand more. Here are two of my favorites.

“Paul Newman is the best looking man that has ever lived.”


“The Graduate is the greatest movie ever made.”

Song 82.

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